I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize