I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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