it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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