just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize