Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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