I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
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Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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