U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
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I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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