go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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