who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yo dont text me then not text me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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