I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize