I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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