yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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