Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize