When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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