There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
as a side note pls kill me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize