So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize