I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
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Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
why is half of my head shaved?
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