things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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