i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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