we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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