Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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