I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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