her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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