the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize