he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
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I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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