I wannas sexs uuuuu
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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