She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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