Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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