Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize