He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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