Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize