Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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