i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize