So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize