Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize