That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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