Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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