is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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