he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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