well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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