k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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