I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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