I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize