Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize