At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize