Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize