Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
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You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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