I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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