No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize