I hope mine doesn't look like that
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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